I finally decided to have surgery on my knee to fix a 30+ year old injury. This is an injury that I played with through high school, college and adult soccer leagues. It’s an injury that I continued to re-injure many times… over… and… over… and… over! I have had many opportunities to repair it over the years, but I haven’t for various reasons. Stubbornness is not one of them… really.
In junior high football, another player pushed his guy into the side of my left knee bending it a way that God did not intend it to bend causing an almost complete tear in my ACL along with some other damage. Because I wasn’t fully grown at the time, the doctor suggested that I not repair it surgically. They would have had to go through my growth plate causing my leg to stop growing. So I waited to get it repaired.
I played through high school and college. Every now and then, I would tweak it a bit or a lot and had to deal with the pain and swelling but would be able to get back to “normal” fairly quickly. The summer before my college senior year, I tore my right ACL ending my college career. (Don’t cry, it wasn’t all that…) I had surgery on my right knee over Christmas break and went back to school on crutches and in a brace. But I didn’t get my left one fixed.
Throughout high school and college I played with a brace. I hated that brace. As soon as I started playing in adult leagues, I stopped wearing the brace. It worked, or so I thought. My leg got stronger and I felt I was able to play better. And so it went for awhile. Then one day, with no one around, in my first game in California, my knee went out and that was it. I stopped playing. It felt unstable. Day to day, it felt like it was going to come unhinged at any moment. But I still carried on with life, sans soccer.
It wasn’t until our daughter started showing interest in soccer that I decided that I would need to get some stability in my knee if I wanted to be a part of her soccer life growing up. So, I decided to finally get this 30+ year old injury fixed.
My knee being unstable didn’t bother me. I could live with it as I believed that it only affected me. But when I started to see how it could affect others, I really saw how unstable my knee had become. I had tried to strengthen it myself. It didn’t work. Because of this, I had to decide to submit to someone who could strengthen my knee for me. I had to get a surgeon to physically operate on it.
The integrity of my knee is like purity. When I was thinking it only affected me, my strength of my knee… or my purity was something I could live without. Lack of purity causes instability and weakness that we may not recognize. When you live just for yourself, you tend to allow instability or weakness in your life because you think that you are the only one being affected or hurt. It’s when you see that it affects someone else that you will see the instability or weakness and see the need to fix it. You also have to admit that you can’t do it on your own. Only then will you seek out Someone that can be your strength. Living purely is something you can’t do in your own strength.
Rob and Jenna Crenshaw are founders of Crossroads Club