As part of our presentation, we ask who the students talk to or feel that they can talk to about sex. We get a variety of answers ranging from parents to youth leaders to counselors to siblings and friends. We always encourage them to speak to their parents first and also that they can reach out to their teacher, a counselor at school or contact us with their questions. What stands out a lot is the students show more ease with talking with their friends than with an adult about sex. This is what I shared with the students in response to talking with their friends:
I started by asking the students, "If you wanted to learn how to fly an airplane, would you ask me to teach you knowing that I have never learned to fly a plane?" Their response was an obvious, "No!" Then I tell them that one time when I was in 2nd grade my father and I actually went up in a small plane with a friend of my father's and he let me control the plane while flying. So based on that experience, I ask them again if they would let me teach them to fly. Again, they say no.
Next, I add another level. I explain to them that I have taken a graduate level course in aerodynamics and I have studied all the aspects of how a plane flies. I discuss the four aspects of flight: lift, thrust, drag and gravity. After that I ask again if I could teach them to fly. I had one student agree then to let me teach him. I reminded him that I don't actually know what all the buttons or gears do in the cockpit and he quickly changed his mind.
After this, I relate it back to who they ask about sex. I remind them to make sure they know the "qualifications" of the individual before putting their trust in their answer. I re-emphasize the important role that their parents play in their lives as well as remind them of the options they have on their campus.
Parents, if you don't feel qualified enough to teach your kids to fly, then it is time to get qualified. While you are doing that, reach out to the resources you have as well. Reach out to the school counselor, the teacher, the pastor and you can reach out to us as well. We can help equip you to speak with your child and provide a safe environment for them to feel free to share with you their questions.
Rob and Jenna Crenshaw are founders of Crossroads Club